Silent Hope
by L.A.91
Summary: Edward arrives in Forks, following his family six months after. He realizes that his sister visits her best friend two times a week, in a mental institution. When he joins her, he meets Bella for the first time. changes point of view btwn E and B
1. Chapter 1: Opposites Attract

_**Edward**_

**Chapter 1: Opposites Attract**

"Good eve-morning ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. I apologise for the slight delay in departure from Phoenix, however I hope you enjoyed your flight and hope to see you again soon. Thankyou for flying with American Airlines." As soon as the seatbelt light switched off, I unbuckled the contraption and shifted my small backpack around my shoulder as I stood from my seat. I used my left hand to rub away any sleep remaining in my eyes, and to wake myself up. Once again I looked up in the direction of the exit and regretted it; although the slim, blonde, and mostly attractive air hostess made it clear that she was attracted to me when she slipped her phone number in my breast pocket, I felt bad that I had unintentionally led her to believe that the feelings were mutual; when they weren't. This time when I looked away, I didn't smile. Maybe if I wasn't nice to her, she would get the hint that I wasn't interested.

As I walked forward when the line shifted, I considered a good excuse for why I wouldn't be contacting her. Besides the fact that she would be in Seattle – even if she wasn't flying out soon – while I was in Forks, proves that it couldn't really work, had I had any interest in her. But that consideration only led me to the old, I'm-seeing-someone-else excuse. I wondered if she'd see right through me, knowing I wouldn't be seeing someone else and tell me 'I had my chance'. But when I was close enough to see her also hand her number to another guy, I wasn't so inclined to the idea of explaining my silence; she'd get a phone call even if it wasn't me. So when I walked through the exit, I didn't acknowledge her at all. I yawned as I made my way to collect my luggage. I had, after much reluctance on my part, agreed that my parents and sister, Alice could come to pick me up. However when I realized the flight was running two hours late, I told them not to bother and that I'd see them when I got to their house. Which was why I was completely surprised when I noticed a familiar looking pixie of a girl; in nothing but a blue jumper, pyjama pants and boots, standing next to a blonde male who towered over her. I immediately recognised her as my one and only sibling, while the male must be her boyfriend she always spoke of; Jasper.

"Well, well, well," I said as she turned to face me properly, and smiling like a maniac, "I thought I'd never see the day where my sister would actually go outside in pyjamas. I must be hallucinating!" I smiled as she beamed at me before running into my arms.

"Edward!" she exclaimed. I caught her and held on for a while. God I missed her. It had been half of a year since I'd seen Alice and our parents, since they'd moved from Phoenix to Forks. It had been too long. When she finally let me go she looked up at me with her big, dark brown eyes which held small bags underneath.

"Yeah well, I figured I wouldn't see anyone I knew here, and at _this_ time of the night!" she chuckled. I looked at the two of them; they couldn't possibly look any different from each other.

"That reminds me, what are you doing here? I thought I told you not to come because of the delay." I said as I saw my suitcase on the belt coming towards me. I grabbed it quickly and stood it up before lifting the handle so that I could wheel it.

"Uh yeah. But I figured even though it was late for mum and dad, I could still come, and well Jazz didn't want me to go alone so yeah…oh…shit…wait…sorry…yeah, Edward-" she yawned, "this is Jazz, Jasper – my boyfriend." I quickly realized Jasper's hand was held out, I returned it with a smile.

"I've heard only good things about you. It's nice to finally meet the guy that makes this munchkin happy," I explained as I ruffled Alice's black bob of spiky hair. Jasper smiled widely at her before responding.

"It's nice to meet you too. But I think _she _makes me _happier_." Okay, and now a change of subject please. I didn't want to seem rude, but Alice knew how I was around couples.

"Okay, you ready?" Alice asked me, and I nodded before giving her a grateful smile.

Jasper drove after Alice insisted I take shot gun. I'd noticed it before and I considered it again – as they talked about how good it was to be on school break – Alice and Jasper seemed like two completely different people. I mean this gave knew meaning to the phrase 'opposites attract'. While Jasper admitted he preferred country music and rock and roll, Alice liked a bit of rap and techno; and if not for that, physically they looked the exact opposite; Jasper was tall and lean, had blue eyes and blonde hair, while Alice was short and slim, and had the darkest brown eyes and black hair. The only things they seemed to have in common was the obvious love they had for each other, and the pale skin Forks provided, with its cloud cover.

Even though it felt awkward, being in the presence of a couple again, I knew I would have to get used to it. Since I would do anything to keep Alice happy, and Jasper seemed to be the key to her happiness. I laughed at myself internally, when did I become such a lovey dovey guy? It certainly wasn't just after my most recent dumping by my ex, which happened three months ago. I guessed that it was probably due to the fact that I haven't actually been around a happy couple in a while; and I didn't yet know if I liked it or not. Alice cleared her throat.

"Oh hey Edward, what are you doing this Wednesday?" At her question Jasper seemed to freeze; his whole body was suddenly rigid and tense as he continued to drive. Why did he give off such a reaction to Wednesday? I looked behind him, at Alice.

"Um…not quite sure Alice; new place and all, I don't really know anyone." I said.

She chuckled, "Oh right. Well if you're not doing anything, you should come with me to Seattle." Again, as if Jasper wasn't his most tense before, he was more so now. Did he not want me to do whatever Alice had planned?

"Um…yeah…maybe…Why what are you doing?" I asked hesitantly. I noticed that Jasper gave Alice a glance in the rear view mirror which seemed like a warning.

She continued as if she hadn't seen him, "I'm visiting Bella; Jasper's sister." Her name made something in my brain twitch; I'd heard it before, a long time ago, but I couldn't place where. Before I could ask, Jasper announced that we had arrived.

When Alice opened the door to two pairs of waiting eyes and opened arms, that was when I simply broke down. I dropped my bag and let my suitcase handle fall as I walked into their joint embrace. As embarrassing as it was, I felt the tears that escaped my eyes as I hugged them tightly. I didn't yet care what Jasper thought, I hadn't known him long enough to worry about how he thought of me. I hadn't seen mum and dad in six months and all through my joys and troubles of that time. They simply held me to them as I said a muffled, 'hello'. They laughed as they let me go to 'get a better look at me' as mum said.

"Edward, you look so tired," mum noted, "have you not been sleeping well since…?"

I shook my head, "mum, a red eye will do that to you, especially since I had to get up at five am this morning," I said. Hoping to change the subject, I mentioned that I was a bit starved.

"Oh of course you are, I'll go fix something up," mum said, "Oh Carlisle, just look at him! He's so skinny. Edward have you been eating properly?" I sighed as I picked up my bag. That was when I noticed Jasper and Alice were no longer in the room. Had they missed my embarrassing embrace?

"Come on Edward," mum said as she led me into the kitchen, "What do you feel like?" I placed my suitcase down, seconds before Alice walked in the room.

"Jazz said 'bye' to everyone," she said as she took my suitcase. "Mum why don't you just make him toast and I'll show him his room?"

"Oh okay, are you sure that's what you want?"

"Yes please," I nodded, "peanut butter will do." Then Alice dragged me upstairs.

"So this is it. What do you think?" she asked after we walked into a big room with a _big _bed. I smiled as I walked up to the bed and let myself fall on top of it. I felt the bed dip and turned to see Alice had done the same thing.

"It's perfect," I muttered into the blanket.

"I thought so, that's why when I first saw it, I knew it was yours," Alice moved to sit up and face me. "So honestly, how are you?"

I slowly moved so that we were both sitting cross-legged in front of each other. I exhaled, just realising how much air I had been holding, before I looked at her. "I'm okay. Honestly. I know I've been better…but I'm better now than I was a few months after…"

"After Tanya," I hissed as she said her name, "Well Edward, I'm proud of you. You're not letting her hurt you anymore, not that you ever did. But you're allowing yourself to move on, and for that, I admire you." Jesus and she was supposed to be my _younger_ sister? No offence, but when did she all of a sudden become….mature? I muttered a 'thanks'.

"So," she said after a few minutes of catching up, "you think you'll come on Wednesday?" she asked it softly. But that reminded me, as I chewed my toast.

"Oh yeah, this um…Bella, where have I heard about her before?" I asked.

Alice's eyes widened in shock, "Who told you about her, and when?" she demanded with a sense of authority in her tone and a hint of…protectiveness?

I sighed, "I don't know Alice, I just asked you. I've heard of the name, a while ago I suppose. Maybe even when you first got here."

She gasped, "Mum?"

Suddenly I remembered, "Oh yeah, that's where. She was just telling me how you'd made a friend called Bella. She probably told me she was Jasper's sister but I forgot." I watched her carefully, she seemed…relieved?

"That's it? That's all she told you?"

When I nodded, at first it was obvious relief, but then she grew tense. "Why? What's wrong?" I asked softly.

She shook her head, "Another time. I'll tell you on Wednesday. For now, you need to finish eating and go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning. Night!" she pecked me on the cheek and then walked out of my room.

"Night," I said to myself. After I changed into some boxers, I lay under my covers exhausted and fell to sleep straight away.


	2. Chapter 2: The past will always haunt me

**A/N:**** I completely made AFPC up, it's not real. Still, I hope it's believable and I hope you like it :) lol.**

_**Bella**_

**Chapter 2: The past will always haunt me**

"Bella, its lunch time sweetie. You gonna eat anything?" Emma asked me. I continued to gaze out of the window. "Honey you have to eat – you know that." I sighed quietly as my hands moved the small tray in front of me, just a little bit closer before lifting one of the small sandwiches to my mouth. I took the tiniest bite, in the hopes of reassuring Emma so that she would leave me alone. It's not that I didn't like Emma, I did; she was one of the nicest people who worked here at Seattle's AFPC, Adolescents and Family Psychiatric Centre. But besides my psychologist, I very rarely spoke in front of anyone here, and if I did I'm pretty sure they would faint or die of shock. I had to take another bite before Emma smiled and walked off after telling me to have a good day. And exactly what would make today good? How was today any different from any other? It was a Tuesday – which meant nothing except that tomorrow was Wednesday. Ugh, Wednesday, one of the three days a week that we were allowed to have visitors; every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. However it was only Wednesday and Saturdays that I would dread, for Alice had work on Mondays. Again, it wasn't that I didn't like Alice, I _loved_ her if truth be told. But that was exactly why I didn't talk to her. I don't know why, but I can't. Every time she comes to visit, even if she does succeed in bringing Jasper; my brother, I never talk to either of them.

Phil, my psychologist, thinks that its some type of stupid defence mechanism of mine; that I don't talk to people I care about because I'm afraid to lose them as well. But I didn't think that were true, like I said; Phil was pretty much the only person I talked to now, and I didn't love everybody here, not at all. I hadn't made one friend here, but I'm happy about that, I don't want any. I wish I understood myself better though, because every time Alice leaves after her visits, I think of things I should have said or asked, or the fact that I should just acknowledge her, but I don't. I never do. I just sit there, with a blank expression while I listen to her rattle on about something. I admit it to myself though, I do love her visits, I like the reminder that there is someone out there, someone who would care if something ever happened to me, someone that takes the time every Wednesday and Saturday to drive up from Forks to see me. Even though I say I dread her visits, I don't dread the fact that Alice is coming to see me, I dread the idea of her making all of this effort, and getting absolutely nothing in return. I know its selfish, but I don't know what to say to her when I see her. And if I acknowledge that she's there, of if I not at what she says or to a question, she'll _expect_ me to talk; and I've learnt its better to have lower expectations, otherwise you might just get hurt.

When I finished the second sandwich on my plate and drank all of the orange juice on my tray, I lifted myself from the seat to take the tray back to the kitchen. One of the cooks, Seth, nodded and smiled at me before taking the tray from my hands.

"Looking beautiful as ever Bella," he commented as I started to walk away. Seth had never spoken to me before. It had always just been the small smiles and a nod everyday for the last three months he'd been working here. So I understood his shocked expression when I turned around, and acknowledged him for the first time, with a nervous smile of my own before retreating to my room. What _was _that? I had been doing so well for six months! Never acknowledged, never spoke to anyone but Phil, and then all of a sudden my walls back down because of a simple compliment? I was weaker than I thought. Before I knew it, I would be nodding and shaking my head to all f the inconsequential things Alice had to tell me, and then I'd be talking again. I wouldn't, I couldn't. I'd have to get a hold on myself before I saw Alice tomorrow.

Alice. When I entered my room I lay down on my bed as I thought of her; her beautiful dark brown eyes, small yet full light pink lips, black spiky hair that decided it had many directions in life, and most of all; her light, optimistic and humorous perspective on life. I always found it the hardest to remain silent when she either did or said something funny. Whether it was when she fell over in the cafeteria and then announced the floor was now clean, or when she complained how her brother would call her 'pixie' if he was annoyed with her, or even when she'd simply decide she'd tell me all of the Blonde jokes she'd recently heard. I smiled and giggled as I remembered some of them now. Even though I wouldn't be able to express it, I would be ecstatic when I saw her tomorrow, I miss her so much on the days that she's not here. Although I dread them, I also cherish the days that I see her. And on the odd and rare occasion when Jasper would join her, I would remind myself to smile and cry about it later, and just listen to what they have to say and treasure the time that they're here, in silence.

When I remembered the conversation the Saturday before, I grew a little nervous. Alice had told me that on the following Monday, her brother Edward would be arriving. He was finally arriving, six months after the rest of the family. Apparently he wanted to finish the school year in Phoenix before following them to Forks. I was only nervous because I had a distinct and horrible feeling that she might bring him tomorrow, or at least ask him if he'd like to. I hoped to God she hadn't, or that he would have plans. Four was an even number. Four was the maximum amount of people that had ever visited me, being Alice, Jasper, and on a very rare Saturday, Alice's parents Esme and Carlisle. I liked the number four, it was even; safe. Alice didn't need to increase it by bring her brother here. I was fine, _happy_ with four. I also had a feeling Jasper was coming tomorrow, because he roughly came here once every three weeks. Sometimes I wondered what he did with his time besides school and hanging out with Alice; he didn't have a job that I knew of, however I guessed he hung out with his best friend Emmett if Alice wasn't free.

Emmett. Was it stupid that even the thought of Emmett made my eyes water? Someone else entirely, who lived outside of this place, and lived a normal life? I'd known him and his girlfriend Rosalie since I was twelve, even though I only saw them five or six times in my life since then. Whenever Jazz visited, he never failed to mention that they said 'hello', even if that was all he said. But they never came to see me, and for that I was grateful. The fewer people I knew that saw me now, the better and easier it would be when I finally got out. I was due to be released from the centre on my eighteenth birthday, six months from now, and exactly a year since I was committed. Since I was too 'mentally fragile' after my seventeenth birthday, I couldn't stay at either a foster home or even just with Jasper. Until I was eighteen I had to live here, in a mental institute. It wasn't so bad, nothing like those psych wards you see in movies or TV shows. I imagined it to be a lot like boarding school, only, for the 'mentally fragile'. And on Thursdays and Sundays I had my regular appointments with Phil. I think Phil and the other doctors only saw me as 'fragile' because they assumed, or expected that I would try to commit suicide. Which I honestly did entertain as an idea, in the beginning. But I think it was my silence that made their decisions and sealed the deal, since I was pretty much catatonic.

As most of my things were moved into my room here at the centre, I reached onto my bookshelf to pick another novel to read. I'd recently just finished _Wuthering Heights_ again, so I decided _Pride and Prejudice_ would do for today. As I read, my mind continued to sway and drift in and out of consciousness. After a couple of hours I decided to put the book down and sleep…

_I heard the door bell ring as I dried the dishes. "Mum, Dad? Can one of you get it?" I assumed it would be Jazz coming home from Emmett's house._

"_I'll get it," my father said as he got up from the couch. As I put the last dish down I heard my mother scream._

_My heartbeat increased as I ran into the living room. I gasped as I took in the scene before me. My mother and father; each held by a man with a mask on. The two of them looked at me in surprise; they'd thought it was only a couple at home._

"_Bella, run!" my father shouted. _

_And just as I started, the one who held my mum, let her go and threw her to the floor as he chased me and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me back into the living room._

"_I thought you said there was only two of them?" He asked the other masked man._

"_I thought the kids weren't home! I guess its too bad, huh Chief Swan?" The man asked._

_My father looked confused and worried, "Please, take our money, please just leave. You can take the money, please," my dad said as I was led to the living room floor. The man hit my father across the face._

"_Dad!" "Charlie!" my mother and I cried._

"_I don't want no fucking money! I want revenge. You locked my brother up, and he was killed in jail! So now, you're gonna pay!" I screamed as loud as I could when he pulled out a gun._

"_Bella, baby. Look at me. Look at me Bella," my mother said, "I love you, your father and I love you so much. Never forget that. We love you and Jasper."_

"_I love you too," I cried as I looked into my mother's eyes. I looked back into my dad's eyes, "I love you dad." I shook with fear._

"_I love you Bel-" the gunshot to my father's head was deafening, but not as much as mine and my mother's cries and screams for help. Each of the men covered up our mouths._

"_Shut up!" they yelled._

_My mother, full of rage, tore at one of the man's face as she screamed and pulled the mask off. I saw how his hand was near her chest as his face came into view._

"_You murderer! You psychopathic murderer! I'm going to kill you!" my mother's shrieks were silenced after another deafening crack of a gunshot ran through the house._

"_NO! NO!" I shrieked as I ran from the hands of the other man, to my mother, "Mum! Mum! Wake up, please wake up!" I screamed at her, but there was no response. I cried loudly as I shook her, "MUM!"_

"_She isn't gonna wake up, neither of them are." The man whose mask had been removed said to me. Even though I would remember his face anywhere from now on, I knew they wouldn't leave me alive. "It seems like such a waste," he said to the masked figure as he motioned to me._

"_It doesn't have to be a _complete_ waste." The mask said. I screamed as they both held me down on the floor and begged to be killed instead..._

"NO!" I yelled, but this time waking myself up. I sprang up in bed, shaking and crying, as I realized I'd had the dream once again.

"Bella? Shh. It's me, Phil. Its okay, you're okay now."

He brought his arms around me, hugging me tightly. I cried into his shoulder, this was the first time I'd made physical contact with anyone here. Why did I have to start all this contact now? He rocked me, until I was tired enough to fall asleep once again.


	3. Chapter 3: Acknowledgement

**A/N: Again, AFPC is not real. And I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does :) Hope you like it, I'll only know if you review :P**

**_Edward_**

**Chapter 3: Acknowledgement**

"No Edward," Alice smiled, "That's not for you." I looked at her quizzically as I eyed the spaghetti bolognaise Alice was pouring into a container.

I sighed disappointed, "Alice if its not for either of us, who is it for?" I'd thought we were going to visit her friend and Jasper's sister, wait…"Is it for Bella?" I guessed.

She smiled, "Yep." My confusion was starting to irritate me.

"And why are you bringing her food? Is she sick?" I laughed quietly. Alice's face popped up quickly as she glared at me. I backtracked, "I mean, is she in like a hospital or…?" it seemed Alice was getting angrier the more I spoke. I exhaled quickly, "Alice, why are you bringing her food?"

My legs swayed back and forth as I sat on the stool behind the kitchen bench. She seemed to consider something for a while as she looked at me. Finally she closed the lid of the container and shrugged.

"Because where she is, the food isn't fabulous. And because this is her favourite meal; I suppose I made her a peace offering…since I'll be bringing you," she winked.

"Why, where is she? And why would it be a bad thing if I came?" I asked.

She sighed quietly as she put the rest of the spaghetti in three other containers, "Well I guess it'll be better to tell you now, I don't really want to explain things in front of Jasper…" she looked at me in the eyes before she let out a burst of air. "Jazz is driving us, I would appreciate it a lot if you tried not to speak about it in front of him, but I still want you to come. Bella is my best friend Edward; she means the world to me. Now listen and listen carefully." She placed the lids on the remaining containers. "I met Bella about three weeks before her seventeenth birthday earlier this year in June. We hit it off straight away, and then I fell in love with her brother. They had the nicest parents, Chief Swan and Renee. I had talked to Bella about having a party for her birthday, but she wouldn't have any of it. She just wanted to have dinner with her parents." Her expression seemed to change completely before she continued speaking, as if she wasn't in the room with me anymore. I tried to concentrate on what she was saying, it hadn't escaped my notice that she used the past tense when speaking of her parents. "That night, Emmett – Jasper's best friend – was having a little gathering, so I told Jazz I'd go with him, but I really wanted Bella to come. I wish she had… Anyway, after the party Jasper dropped me off and then went home. After that…everything changed…" I swallowed hard as I took in her tears threatening to escape. I didn't want to push her, but I wanted to understand. When I cleared my throat, her head popped up again.

"What happened Alice?" I asked softly.

She shook her head, "The details don't really matter right now. I might tell you another time. But basically, after that night, Jasper and Bella lost their parents and…Bella was committed."

_Committed?_ Did that mean she was insane? I didn't understand anything, Alice hadn't finished telling me when Jasper walked in, ready to take us. I gathered that she'd said 'committed' instead of 'convicted', so did that mean Bella hadn't killed her parents? And if not, why was she committed? I frowned as I realized that witnessing your parents death was probably reason enough to go off the rails. So okay, this Bella chick wasn't dangerous, but was her head screwed on right? I figured when Alice said not to talk about it in the car, she was mostly talking about the circumstances that brought Bella to this place, so I thought it would be okay to ask how often they visited her. At this, I could see from the back seat that Jasper had tensed up again, his neck suddenly straight and stiff. But Alice turned to smile at me.

"I try to make it on Wednesday's and Saturdays. But since I work on Mondays I can't go then…" she trailed off, sounding disappointed.

"At least you go Alice. She must appreciate the fact that you visit her when you can," I said.

"She's being modest," Jasper said in an annoyed tone, "she visits every Wednesday and Saturday, while I only get there once in a few weeks." Before I could even think, I blurted it out.  
"How come?" Alice turned to glare at me. I muttered a 'sorry' before looking out of the window.

"Because it's too hard," he whispered. Alice looked at him in shock as he continued to look at the road. I looked at him in the rear view mirror, his eyes slightly red. "It's too hard to look at her and pretend that everything is okay, that everything will be fine. Every time I look at her, I see how I failed. I failed as a son and as a brother. I see the colour of her hair and it reminds me of dad, while the colour of her eyes reminds me of mum." His voice broke on the last word. I didn't know if it was because I was a complete stranger who asked a question that no one else did, but he seemed to be saying things he hadn't spoken about, ever. "I love her so much. It's just plain torture; the silence. I wonder if she's angry at me, that I didn't do anything, that I wasn't there when it happened…But then, she doesn't speak to Alice either, and she _loves_ Alice. So I don't know what to do and I just… I can't handle seeing her like this."

After about a minute of silence, it seemed like that was all he'd say. I didn't know if I should or not, but I cleared my throat and spoke.

"Jasper, I'm sure she's not angry with you and that she does appreciate the effort you _both_ put in to see her. And I'm sure she loves you both, at least as much as you love her. No matter what you think or what you think you should have done, she's lucky to have the both of you _now_. I'm sure she looks forward to the days that you visit." Until the last part, they remained quiet, and then they both scoffed. I was confused yet again.

"I doubt that. At least when I come," Jasper said.

"What he means is; she doesn't talk, to anyone at all except her psychologist. She hasn't acknowledged anyone since she came here." Alice explained. I sighed; well this was going to be interesting. On the seat next to me sat the four containers of spaghetti and four cans of coke. As we arrived and Jasper parked, I looked at the sign, "AFPC?"

"Adolescents and Family Psychiatric Centre," Alice stated as she stood next to me.

When we entered we had to go through a metal detector and write our names in the guestbook before we were given a 'visitor' tag to clip to our t-shirts. As we walked into the cafeteria and I followed the hand-holding couple, I noticed a small girl sitting at a table with a book in her hands. Her back was to us as we approached, her long, light brown curls hung down the front and back of her tiny shoulders. I was shocked at how small she was, she was even smaller than Alice, and that was saying something. She couldn't possibly be seventeen, could she? We were finally in her line of sight as we stood behind the chairs in front of her. She didn't lift her eyes from the book she was reading. I scrutinised the front cover, _Pride and Prejudice,_ I smiled, well at least she had good taste.

"Hi Bella. It's nice to see you again. Now I know you didn't really want me to bring my brother, so to help put you in a brighter mood I brought you your favourite." Alice sat down in a chair before pushing one of the containers with a fork, and a can in front of Bella. Jasper and I slowly seated as well. At first it seemed as if the girl was deaf, she didn't make one move. But as I started to watch her carefully, she lifted her head slightly to look at the food. Her expression was completely confusing; it was as if she wanted to do something like smile or say something, at the same time as telling herself not to. She slowly put down the book before lifting the lid and taking a small bit of spaghetti.

It was completely silent as we all ate and drank, and then once in a while Alice would think of a random question to ask me or something she remembered to tell Bella. After a few minutes it got ridiculous, if she didn't talk its not like we couldn't have a conversation.

"So Jasper, do you like baseball?" I asked. At first I didn't think he would answer, but when Bella looked at his face he did.

"Uh, yeah. You?"

"Yeah, I love it. Maybe we could get a group of your friends and play sometime?" I suggested, as an afterthought and with a chuckle I added, "You could come too Alice, if you want." Alice laughed while Jasper continued to look at Bella.

"Yeah, sounds good," he said. I watched as Bella seemed to concentrate on Jasper's face, as if committing it to her memory. That was when I decided to take notice of her small face; her big, chocolate brown eyes – emphasised because of her petite nose and lips – held small bags underneath, while her eyeballs were a little bloodshot. Did she have trouble sleeping? I admitted to myself that she was a very pretty girl, beautiful in fact. I didn't realise I was staring at her, until I noticed that not only were her eyes now on me, but they widened before her cheeks flushed a beautiful pink and her eyes went back to the table as she drank. I couldn't help it, I chuckled at her reaction. Her blush was absolutely divine, it made her pale face seem more alive. I looked down as I drank as well. Alice and Jasper seemed to notice exactly what happened because they wore expressions of complete shock. Had I done something wrong? But then Alice smiled at Bella.

"You look beautiful today Bella," she said. And just like before, the blood flooded to her cheeks, exposing the pink flush once again. And once again I laughed quietly, but this time Alice and Jazz joined. Suddenly Bella stared at Jasper as he laughed, as if again wanting to remember, the sound of it forever. And then, as if she'd given up trying to control herself, she smiled at him. And I mean she _really_ smiled, it was the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. Jasper and Alice gasped at the sight, while I was frozen in awe. She really was quite beautiful. Suddenly, as if she realized just then what she'd done, the smile faded and she took another sip.

Another half an hour passed and she still hadn't said a word. To think that all of their visits were like this was shocking, how did they cope with the silence? And then I remembered Jasper's words in the car; he'd explained it perfectly, the silence was torture. She continued to look out of the window as Alice spoke to her, telling her random stories about work at the Lodge, or the town gossip at the moment, and how excited she was that school was over.

"Seriously Bella, you're lucky you don't have to be at school. I mean I get that you still learn here, but the _people_, they're all so conceded. I'd bet the girls here are much nicer in fact." She tried to hide it, but I saw the look in her face that told me she'd bet differently. All of a sudden I worried, were they mean to her? Without thinking once again, I spoke to Bella.

"Do you have any friends here?" Alice gasped when Bella turned to look at me. She didn't answer, she just stared. I gazed back into her eyes, knowing she wouldn't speak. "Well, if anyone here wasn't nice to you or anything, I mean, you know you could tell someone. Or us…if you wanted." She needed to know we were there for her. Bella continued to gaze into my eyes as I was doing to hers. I'd wondered before and was curious again at what exactly she was thinking. Did she not want us here? Did she not want me here in particular? I was confused when I felt disappointment at that idea. I suddenly knew I wanted her to like me. But why? Why did I want her to trust me so much? When she still didn't speak, I smiled at her. Before she could stop herself she smiled back and nodded to me; acknowledging what I'd said.

She dropped her gaze as Alice gasped at her. Abruptly Bella stood up, and as if none of us were surprised enough, she smiled again, looked at Alice and blurted out, "Thankyou for coming…and for the food…bye." She turned around quickly and then walked out of the cafeteria and into a small hallway. I turned to look at Alice and Jasper; their eyes wide and their mouths hung open.

"Oh my God," Alice whispered.

"After six months," Jasper murmured.

"And all it took was for someone to tell her that we were here, if she wanted." For a second Alice seemed disappointed in herself, but then she smiled widely, "She spoke. Jazz, she spoke to us. Not to mention the nod she gave Edward and the fact that she looked at us. She actually acknowledged us!" Her tears ran down her smiling face as Jasper's ran down and into his slightly opened mouth. It was quiet as we left the cafeteria and then walked out of the building. But when we got back into the car, Jasper looked at me in the rear view mirror.

"Thankyou Edward, for whatever reason, I believe it was you who actually made her speak. So, thankyou." He smiled as he brushed away his tears. Alice held his hand as he drove, and I considered the fact that I'd actually for once, done something good. I'd managed to get Bella to see that she could talk to us and that we were there for her. I smiled hugely as I brought forward the vision in my mind of her smiling back at me.


	4. Chapter 4: Crooked Smiles

_**Bella**_

**Chapter 4: Crooked Smiles**

_Oh my God, Oh my God_, I kept saying over and over in my head as I'd walked out of the cafeteria and into my room. What had I done? I had actually acknowledged Alice and Jasper for the first time in six months! And I _spoke_ in front of them! I noticed Seth's expression as well, before I fled, as I passed the kitchen. I'd heard Alice and Jazz gasp every time I did something; like turn to look at them, nod, _speak_. If it wasn't for Edward, I didn't think any of it would have happened though, and I didn't know if I liked it or not. The only reason I had expressed any interest was because Edward had mentioned _baseball_ of all things; Jasper's favourite sport and former obsession. And then when he _laughed_. I needed to commit it all to memory, so that whenever I was alone I could pull up the smiling, laughing image of my brother. So I stared at him, again acknowledging their presence. I though that would be it, but just when Alice had mentioned that she would bet my company here must be better than hers at school, and internally I knew different, he had to ask. He had to ask me if I had friends. So again, I stared. But as I did, I gazed into his eyes which only now reminded me of emeralds. It didn't sound like he was trying to pry; it seemed as if he seriously wanted to know. And then he just had to tell me the nicest thing anyone had ever said, since my mother's last words to me. He had told me that I could talk to them, if I wanted; he was letting me know that he, along with Alice and Jazz, we're there if I wanted to tell them something. And just to make things better and worse, I was privy to witness the most adoring, cheeky, sexy, crooked smile that had ever been displayed. Wait, did I just characterise Alice's brother's smile as…sexy? Uh oh. I smirked as I remembered giving him a nod and a smile before leaving. I finally fell asleep with a grin on my face as I pictured emeralds and crooked, sexy smiles.

The next morning I woke up with a gasp. I took in the fact that it was eight am – as my alarm clock flashed at me – and that I had slept a whole nine hours, dreamless. I didn't have one nightmare, or one memory flash. And so I couldn't help it, when I went into the cafeteria I was all smiles as I collected my food and ate my breakfast by myself.

"You're looking very happy today Bella," Seth said. I looked into his eyes as I gave him a timid nod and a smile. He gasped before he placed my cereal and tea on my tray. "Well, it suits you very beautifully. You have a good day now." He smiled at me, nervously. Seth was like a dorky, yet charming man. I sucked in my breath.

"You too Seth," I murmured before I turned around and sat at a table. I had only sat down for ten seconds when I heard the most annoying voice in the world.

"Hey, Bella boo! OI! I'm talking to _you_, Bella boo! Why don't you sit with us?"

I didn't even turn my head as I tried to tune out Jessica's whiny, nasal, excuse for a voice. I don't know why she still bothered tormenting me, I never spoke to her, so what did she get out of it? Of course, that was whenever she only just spoke, when it got physical I was still defenceless, useless and pathetic, but that's when the staff would come to rescue me. However, there have been a couple of times where they arrived a bit too late. And whenever I would have an extra cut or bruise that she would notice, Alice asked about it, but yet again received nothing from me. Jessica was on a pretty short leash nowadays though; with her last attack being a week ago she wasn't allowed within ten feet of me.

When I finished eating, I dropped off my tray before heading over to the bathrooms to brush my teeth and freshen up. Once I was done, I walked towards Phil's office and sat down on the couch opposite his. As he was still writing in his notebook, I sat quietly while I waited. After a few minutes of staring at the floor, I raised my eyes to see him grinning at me.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked me as he repositioned himself to get more comfortable.

"Um, yesterday I suppose. Why?" I asked nervously, playing with my fingers.

"It's just that you're smiling. And I'll admit, it's a lovely sight," my traitor blush appeared as I looked down and into my lap. "And, no dreams last night I hear? That must have been nice," he prompted.

I smiled tentatively, "Yes, it was. Quiet and….peaceful. I actually got nine hours." I replied giddily.

"That's very good to hear Bella. So tell me, what about yesterday is making you smile now?" He continued to write as he looked at me. How did he do that and not just have scribbles on his page?

I sighed, "Well, yesterday Alice came with Jasper and….her brother." His eyes widened at the idea of another person visiting me. He too agreed with my opinion that less visitors, the better. "Phil I…I actually acknowledged them. I looked at them, I nodded, I smiled and I…I spoke before I left." He gaped at me as his hand froze. I explained my reasons for my actions, the best I could; that it was this Edward that really caused it; from the baseball to the support he claimed was available if wanted.

I left Phil in a state of shock, he couldn't believe that after six months I had finally shown people that I am aware of their presence. He'd also said that he would like to meet Edward the next time he visited, but that left me wondering. Would he visit again? Would I see him again? And if he didn't intend to revisit, why would he say I could speak to them and then not come back? I suddenly realized how much I wanted to see him again, already. What was wrong with me? I also wondered, if Alice or Jazz had told me they were there if I wanted to talk, would I have reacted the same? Or was it different because Edward was different, someone foreign to me? I didn't know, but I didn't care. All I knew was that I hoped Edward would come with Alice on Saturday, as much as I told myself different.


	5. Chapter 5: My Sedative

**A/N: I'm sorry my update has taken so long, I am currently on a very strict restriction from the computer until I get a job. Lol. So hopefully I will be getting one soon because I LOVE to be on the computer. Please let me know your thoughts by writing reviews! Without further ado I give you the next chapter…**

_**Edward**_

**Chapter 5: My Sedative**

My head was killing me as I held it in between my hands. The alarm clock; waking me up much earlier than I was used to at the moment; being the obvious cause. I groaned quietly as I rocked backwards and forwards in the passenger seat.

"Are you sure you're alright? I could call Steven and ask if you could start next week?" Alice suggested as she drove us to the Lodge.

"No, no. I'm fine. The pills should kick in any second. Besides, I don't want him to think I'm already pulling sickies," I explained.

"I'm sure he'd understand, migraines are not unknown to him."

I sighed as I shook my head, "its okay. I'll be fine for a few hours."

Yesterday, Alice had brought me along to the Lodge to show me where she worked, and I had met and talked to her boss. Alice mentioned that I would probably be looking for work soon and Steven all but gave me a job straight away. He asked if I were interested to come in the next day to see what it was like and I agreed. Yet now I felt a little regretful as I tried to tune out the pain.

"It sucks though that we wouldn't be working the same days, if you did get the job," Alice pouted.

It was true, Steven had explained that today would be my practice shift, and if I passed the test, then I would be working Tuesdays and Fridays while Alice had Monday's and Thursdays.

"Yeah, too bad," I muttered, still trying to relax.

Most of the time it was stress that caused my migraines, yet I didn't feel stressed at all, a little tense maybe, but not stressed. Alice parked the car, extended a closed fist and gave me a smile, "Good luck." I smiled back at her and knocked my fist with hers before getting out and shutting the door.

All in all the day went by nicely. After the initial ten minute chat with Steven about my previous jobs, my migraine had faded almost completely, leaving my head just a little fragile. The first two hours I spent on being a kitchen hand, learning where everything was and how to prepare the more basic meals. While the next couple of hours I served tables as a waiter. It felt weird at first; wearing an apron again with a notepad and pen in the pocket, it reminded me of my previous job in Phoenix working in café. Normally if I got the job here my shift would continue for another hour or two, but since it was just a test to see if; I were any good and whether I was interested in working there, Steve said I could leave. I called Alice and she picked me up fifteen minutes later.

"So, how was it?" she asked with too much curiosity when I got in and closed the door.

I smiled, "Not too bad. He said the job was mine if I wanted it." She continued to watch me, waiting for more. I sighed quietly, "I think I'll give him a call tonight to tell him I'll see him on Tuesday."

"Awesome." Alice smiled as she started the car and pulled out of the parking area.

Later that night I did call Steven and he was thrilled to have me on board. But I went to bed, thrilled at the idea of seeing Bella the next day. I didn't know why, but I was excited to see her again, and curious to see if she would smile or better, talk to us. Her smile did things to my body that I didn't recognise, while her hair; her eyes, her lips and her blush…caused a certain familiar reaction I hadn't experienced in a while. However I grew frustrated at myself with these realisations. I didn't want to be thinking about Bella that way. At least not yet, I'd only just met her. _And_ she was Alice's best friend, _and_ Jasper's sister. Beside those facts, she obviously was quite unavailable given her position and rather dramatic and serious situation. I couldn't let these thoughts of her; these fantasies, to plague my mind while I helped support her to get through her issues. When I'd told her that we were there for her, if she wanted to talk; I meant Alice, and Jasper, but most importantly myself. If I had my way, I would join Alice every day she went to see Bella. Even if I couldn't get her to smile, but that would be my goal in going there; to see her lips curl up and her chocolate brown eyes twinkle as she smiled. Eventually I fell asleep thinking about lips with a particular light pink shade, light brown curls, and chocolate.

The ride to the centre had been quiet, yet peaceful. Jasper seemed to be more at ease as he drove us. Perhaps it was because I'd been there before and he knew that for whatever reason, I wanted to be here. Or maybe it was the possibility that he would see Bella smile or hear her talk again. Either way the atmosphere in the car was much more relaxed than and not as tense as the last time. My eyes found the rear view mirror, allowing me to see the hope in Jasper's eyes and the smile that dared to appear. Alice was humming, something she did when she was happy or excited. And of course, this made me happy. My knees bobbed up and down in anticipation as I tried to still the cans in my lap. I had suggested we bring some Coke again, seeing as how much she liked it. As soon as Jasper parked, we all hopped out and walked towards the door.

"Jazz," Alice said, suddenly with a serious expression, "I just don't want you to be disappointed if she doesn't do anything today, okay? There is a process for this, and she's doing so well. But if she doesn't acknowledge us, we still need her to know we're here for her, okay?"

"Of course. I will be disappointed if she doesn't do anything, but I understand. I just want to see if she'll smile again, I'll give anything to see that again." I put my hand on his shoulder as I nodded in agreement.

"She does have a nice smile," I started as we put on our tags, "but I want to see that blush again." I smiled as they laughed.

This time when we sat down at the same table, Bella wasn't there. I placed the cans on the table as a lady came to us, telling Alice she'd be a few minutes. I didn't think anything of it until Alice and Jasper shared a cautious glance.

"What is it?" I asked.

"That's not normal; she's usually here when we arrive. Something's wrong," Alice hissed. Before I could allow myself to worry too much, I replied.

"Maybe she went to the bathroom or something."

We sat in silence as we waited. I was contemplating opening my can, thirsty as ever, just as I saw her walk into the cafeteria. I noticed that she was wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and her hair was no longer parted in the middle, instead it was on the right side; ultimately covering the left side of her face. Instantly I grew angry. I stiffened immediately as she walked slowly. I realized Alice and Jazz were watching me now with confused expressions. I gritted my teeth as she sat down. Slowly, she looked up to see Jazz, and when she realized with shock that he was here again, she smiled. The sight of it almost caused the anger inside of me to disappear, but it just faded. I watched as her eyes moved to my clenched fists, she jumped a little before looking away.

I sighed as I realized my anger wouldn't get me anywhere, and it wouldn't allow her to trust me. She sat so immobile in front of us; yet something was different, and I knew what it was. She was avoiding eye contact, but not like before. Now, she was trying to hide something; I wondered if she knew that was why I was angry. Before Alice could say anything, I slowly pulled my chair in closer to the table as I leaned forward. Bella's hands were knitted together on the table and I heard the gasps as I moved my hand. Finally it reached them and I placed my hand on top of one of hers, holding it there. She didn't move her hand, but her head popped up as she stared at me. By the way her right hand held her other arm as she walked in; I knew it was her left arm she was hiding. I smiled at her gently as my fingers slowly stroked her left hand.

"Bella," I whispered before hearing her sharp intake of breath, "please let me see."

She hesitated, but then gave me better access to her arm as one of her eyebrows lifted. I smiled as I held her arm in both hands and my eyes held hers as I began to pull up her sleeve slowly.

"What are you doing?" Alice hissed quietly. I ignored her and the fact that Jasper cleared his throat, as I continued to gaze into Bella's eyes. Her eyebrows pulled together looking at me in confusion as I finally reached her elbow. Her skin was so soft beneath my fingers, I never wanted to stop touching her or looking into her eyes. But I needed to in order to prove my suspicions. I moved my hand from her arm and looked at it. Alice, Jasper and I, all hissed at the sight of the grey shaded bruise on her arm.

With the least amount of weight possible, I stroked it softly with my fingers. "Fuck," I whispered.

"Oh my God! What happened Bella? Who did this to you?" Alice demanded as her eyes started to well up with tears. I rubbed her back slowly with one hand, as did Jasper. I cleared my throat and returned to Bella.

"Hey," I said tenderly, making her look at me as my hand found her arm again. She was either looking at the table or at me now, finally her head rose. I was closer to her than the other two, so I was able to do it. I hesitantly moved her hair with my other hand to expose her left eye; the bloodshot eyeball, and the light purple bruise on her cheek. "Bella," I whispered. Her breath hitched as her eyes held mine.

"I-I'm okay," she whispered. I didn't even think about what I was doing, and even though Alice grabbed my hand as I stood up, I ignored it. I moved slowly so that I wouldn't startle Bella. When I placed my chair right beside hers, I sat down as she stared at me in shock and confusion. She held perfectly still as I reached my arms towards her, around her small body and pulling her in gently. I sighed in contentment as I held her, loving the feeling of having her in my arms.

Again, I don't know if it was because I was a stranger to her or because Alice and Jasper hadn't done this, but after a few seconds, Bella seemed to finally break down. She leant into me completely – which proved that she weighed very little – and cried on my shoulder. I held her to my chest as she sobbed, breathing in the scent of her hair; strawberries.

"It's okay," I whispered. "I won't let anyone hurt you again, I promise."

I held her even tighter as she began to shake uncontrollably. With great strength, I pulled away just enough so that I could hold her face in my hands. In the background I could hear gasps, it didn't register then, that there were three.

"Bella, who did this to you?" I asked as my eyes bore into hers. She shook her head slowly, her eyes red and watery.

"She – I – Jess – its okay now. I – I'm fine," she stuttered.

"Sshh…slow down. Jess? A – A girl did this to you?" I questioned.

Beside me near Jasper and Alice, I heard a throat being cleared. I turned around to see a man standing next to Jasper. From Alice's description I gathered that he must be Phil, Bella's psychologist. About six feet tall, tanned, bald and lean yet muscular.

"It was another patient, Jessica, who did this to her. And before you say anything she will be in the presence of a guard 24/7 for at least a month and is not allowed in the same _building_ as Bella. It's absolutely disgusting that this is not the first instance, but Jessica will not harm Bella ever again, you have my word."

"Not the first instance?" I asked, my anger boiling inside me again. I quickly closed my eyes as I pulled Bella close to me; something about her eased my anger, the slightest portion. Alice knew I had an anger problem, but I hadn't had any mishaps for a few months now.

"No. I knew of only one other time, a little over a week ago whereby after that, Jessica was not allowed within ten feet of Bella. Though, that didn't seem to work." Phil sighed as he rubbed his hand across his forehead.

"What do you mean _you knew_ of only one?" I asked, as I watched him, pulling away from Bella but holding onto her small, fragile hands. Phil cleared his throat, seeming uncomfortable.

"It appears that there were other occasions…that we weren't made aware of." I looked back at Bella; she hadn't moved her eyes from me since I sat down next to her. I lifted my hand to her cheek, stroking it softly, "_Bella_." She must have understood my disappointed tone as she nodded; her eyes – still red from crying – looked at me pleading.

"I know. I -" she hesitated, biting her bottom lip.

"What?" I whispered.

"I – I didn't want to cause any trouble and I didn't want to tell anyone; I can handle it myself." At this, I heard Jasper's groan join mine.

"No you can't sweetie," I said, this time she joined in with the other gasps. Bella's expression resembled a deer caught with a flashlight. "This," I gestured to her hand, "isn't handling anything. You need to tell someone if someone else ever hurts you again. Okay?" I continued lightly rubbing her hands with my thumbs as she just stared. "Please?" I breathed.

Suddenly, her eyes flickered with some other emotion, "okay."

"Promise?" I smiled.

"I promise," she smiled back. I brought her in close, embracing her as I breathed in more strawberries.

"Thankyou." I couldn't stand the idea of a patient hurting her and Bella keeping it a secret. The fact that someone had hurt her had fuelled my anger to a point I hadn't experienced before. Though it was a good thing Bella seemed to be a sort of sedative for me. Someone cleared their throat, so I quickly pulled away. Though Bella's frown at this caused me to grab and hold one of her hands as I smiled at her, to help reassure. And just like I pictured it, after seeing the exact same one shown on Wednesday towards Jasper, her lips curled upward as she produced her beautiful smile. Again, gasps in the background caused me to finally turn and face the others.

Phil and Alice's expressions confused me; they were produced by a mixture of emotions, being; shock, confusion, and also…happiness? I couldn't come up with a better one at that point, taking in their smiles. But Jasper's expression I completely understood. His eyes were guarded – hesitant – as he also displayed some shock and confusion as well. I smiled, suddenly shy. I didn't want him to think badly of me, I wanted him to know that his sister's safety was all that mattered to me at the moment.

Phil cleared his throat, "So," he said, looking at Bella.

She took in a sharp breath as her hand went frigid in mine; I tried to sooth it with my thumb. "Oh. Right. Sorry. Um…Phil, this is Alice – my best friend and brother's girl friend, you know my brother – Jasper, and this is Alice's brother – Edward." I smiled as she said my name, loving the sound of it coming out of her mouth.

"Nice to meet you Alice, Edward," he nodded, squinting his eyes as he appraised me.

"You too," I said.


	6. Chapter 6: Hope

**A/N: Sorry if there are mistakes, I was in a rush. Please review to help encourage me :) Sorry this chapter is short!**

**Chapter 6: Hope**

_**Bella**_

What in the hell just happened?

One minute, I was sitting at the table in front of them; while trying to hide the fact that, besides the ten-foot restriction order, Jessica had effectively got to me again. And the next; I'm making eye contact, _with Edward_; I'm talking, _with Edward_, and yet again allowed physical contact, but this time _with Edward_. What was wrong with me?

I didn't realise initially the reason for Edward's obvious anger, which was evident as soon as I sat at the table. I didn't think it possible that he'd noticed so much which ultimately led him to the fact that one; I was hiding something, and two; that it wasn't pretty.

I sat quite still, possibly in some form of shock as my body was angled towards the others as I held Edward's hand. And although I was looking between Phil, Alice and Jasper; in my mind all I saw was Edward.

I remembered how Edward had realised that I knew he was angry at first, and so adjusted his expression and posture to seem more relaxed. I remembered that the first thing he asked of me was to see my arm. How had he known? How had he realized so quickly what had happened?

And then suddenly; I turned my head to look at him. I knew my mouth was slightly open in shock and my eyes held millions of questions as I contemplated the idea of him once having to hide something similar. He was looking into my eyes as I did with him; and not three seconds had passed since Edward had said, "you too," to Phil. I turned and shook my head at the horrible previous thought. My eyes began to water again, just at the thought of this beautiful, strange, boy – or more like man – being hurt or abused, as I had been. He cleared his throat before his hand squeezed mine. I sighed at the feeling, and he wasn't the only one who noticed.

"So Bella," Alice started, and as much as I knew I shouldn't, I turned to look at her. "We brought you some Coke again. It was Edward's idea," she smiled at him as she pushed one closer to Edward and to me.

When Edward and I both reached and grabbed our cans at the same time and then only used our free hand to open it; I almost jumped at the sound of laughter coming from Alice, Jasper and Phil. It was only then that Edward and I realized what happened, and then; I laughed too.

I actually smiled and laughed, lowering my head in embarrassment.

I didn't realise the shock of it, until I was the only one still chuckling. I looked to see Edward smiling at me and then turned to see the others all staring at me in wonder and astonishment.

"Sorry," I muttered, looking at the floor.

"Isabella, never be sorry for laughing," Phil said.

"Yeah Bells, I love it when you smile and laugh. You're even more beautiful," Jasper smiled. And of course, I blushed. Which I was pretty sure was what caused Edward to laugh next to me. I didn't understand why he squeezed my hand at that point, but I didn't mind, so I just smiled to myself.

I had no idea what going on now, and the lack of control of what was happening to me; was frightening. When I didn't speak or acknowledge anyone, I didn't have to worry about anything; I wasn't obligated or expected to say something, do something or voice my opinions. And now suddenly, I was, wasn't I? I had started to talk, and now I didn't have a choice but to try to act normal, right? I mean it's not like I'm pretending when I'm smiling or laughing, but simply missed the security of no expectations; I missed the idea of just shrinking into the walls and not being seen. Completely invisible. But, did I want that now? Did I want to be invisible? I didn't know. It had been a half an hour since we all laughed, and I hadn't said anything. The others were having a conversation but I was occupied with my own thoughts. Did I really want this? I now had the opportunity to start off early, to start acknowledging people before I was to leave this place and go back to school. Could I do it? I didn't yet understand why I wanted to try. What had caused me to try and to hope?

And as I mulled over these thoughts in my head, at just that point, I felt Edward squeeze my hand tighter.

I turned to face him as his lips curled up into his crooked smile. I smiled back, with the realisation that it was Edward. Edward was the reason; this boy who I barely knew made me feel so safe; safe enough to talk to people, and reassured and encouraged enough to hope that eventually, life might be better.

**A/N: Just so you guys know. I'm changing the ages of people so that things can work out easier. Just so you're with me:**

**Bella – 16 (incident happened on her 15****th**** birthday)  
Alice – 16 **

**Edward – 17**

**Jasper – 17**


	7. Chapter 7: Under Her Influence

**A/N****: Sorry it's been a while! I get too caught up in my other stories :P please tell me what you think :) ! x**

**Chapter 7: Under Her Influence**

_**Edward**_

I laughed quietly when what Jasper said made Bella blush again; God she was beautiful, especially when she blushed. I don't know why but I felt an urge to comfort her, or let her know that I was there, so I squeezed my hand around hers. I didn't know what had happened to me, but all of a sudden I felt this weird connection to Bella, as cheesy as it sounded.

But it was rather odd. Although I knew she was beautiful, that wasn't why I felt this, this _need_ to be near her, to protect her. It was like I felt that for some reason_; I_ was meant to protect her, to keep her safe.

I had no idea why, but I didn't very much care. Although I felt a _need_ to protect her, I – more importantly – _wanted_ to. It sounds stupid, but it was as if I needed her to be safe so that _I_ could live. Like, for myself to exist, I needed her to. _Oh Edward, you're so dramatic_, Alice's phrase from a while ago ran through my head. I scoffed to myself.

Oh shove it pixie, at least this way I'm helping you out by looking after your best friend.

_Yes, but at what price? I didn't bring you here so that she could be my sister-in-law!_

I'm not even thinking of that! Her safety is my priority. That's it!

Great, now I'm having a conversation to myself. Perhaps I should be in a place like this. I turned to give Bella a smile and she looked like she was very deep in thought, before smiling and slowly wrapping her small hands around my neck.

With the amount of happiness that erupted inside of me as she initiated a hug, I thought I would combust. She was hugging, and she wanted to. With _me_. I mentally gave myself a high five.

With one hand holding her waist and the other running through her hair; I whispered into her ear, "You know Bella means beautiful, right? Your name suits you so well." I kissed her cheek lightly before pulling back and looking at her. Her expression was one of complete shock; eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, before once again, the blood rushed to her cheeks and she whispered back, "Thank you."

I grinned at her as I let the pads of my fingers lightly stroke the apple of her cheek. "You're welcome."

I gasped suddenly when Jazz cleared his throat; once again I had forgotten that we weren't alone. But his presence reminded me of the fact that we'd have to leave soon. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave her. Ever. I let go of her waist but held her hand in mine as I turned to look at the others.

"Bella, can I tell you a joke I heard the other day?" Alice asked.

Bella turned to Alice and smiled as she nodded slowly. Alice all but stood on her chair jumping with joy and clapping, with the amount of happiness in her expression. She bounced in her seat a she smiled so widely at Bella. I just realised that it was only the second time Bella had acknowledged her. Jazz and I smiled, the sight of Alice so happy made anyone around her happy as well.

"Okay…. How do you drown a blonde in a pool?" she asked.

"I don't…I don't know." Bella replied quietly. I squeezed her hand the slightest bit, proud that she spoke, and to encourage it.

"You glue a mirror to the bottom!" she exclaimed.

We were all quiet, waiting for the punch line. I hadn't heard the joke before so I chuckled quietly, but it didn't sound like anything special compared to the giggles next to me. Bella was so beautiful when she laughed. Resembling a laughing angel. What could be more thrilling to watch or listen to? Nothing I tell you.

Ecstatic with her reaction, Alice said another, "What did the ghost say to the bee?" A pause followed until she said, "Boo bee!"

I turned to watch Bella's reaction, since I had heard this one. She smiled and giggled before a slight pink shade covered her cheeks. I chuckled as she blushed, and didn't even think as I leaned forward to kiss her cheek. To say I got a shock, was an understatement, since I literally got a shock; an electric one, which went to my lips and travelled all through my body.

I blinked in surprise as I looked up at her. Confusion and wonder were evident in her expression. Did she feel it too? I didn't have time to think as I looked into her eyes. God they were beautiful. Everything about her was perfect. I watched her carefully as she leaned forward. I gasped internally; was she going to kiss me? Did she want to kiss me? Me? Just when her lips were an inch from mine, someone cleared their throat. I groaned as I looked up to see Jazz.

And then I blinked in confusion, since he wasn't glaring at me, he was smiling. What also surprised me was the fact that I had completely forgotten about the two of them being there, let alone Phil. I cleared my throat in embarrassment.

At the same time, Bella and I leaned forward to take a few sips of our drinks. "So," Phil cleared his throat this time, "Are you guys all coming on Monday?" Alice bowed her head, I could tell she really didn't like the fact that she couldn't make it on Monday's to see her best friend.

Jasper fidgeted a little, "I think, I will." My eyes snapped to him in surprise and excitement. It was also probably why Bella had gasped.

"Me too," I said, squeezing her hand as I smiled at her. _Aaaaand...cue the beautiful blush_. I lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles.

Alice was bouncing in her chair, "Well good, because neither of you are coming next Wednesday," she demanded as she smiled.

"Why not?" Bella's quiet, sweet voice asked as the cutest frown displayed upon her beautiful face.

Alice chuckled before I pulled Bella into my side; even closer to me. "You'll see…I have my reasons. Plus, I need to talk to you in private, without these shmucks." She tilted her head to Jasper and then to me.

"Ahem, don't you mean, handsome shmuck?" Jazz asked.

"Mm…maybe," she relented.

"Well," Jazz said, looking rather disappointed, "We better get going."

I looked down at Bella as I frowned, I didn't want to leave. She smiled as she leaned forward to kiss my cheek. When I brought my hand to cover the exact spot she kissed me, which I would preserve as much as I could, I looked at her; stunned, as I heard chuckles behind me. She smiled up at me.

"I guess I'll see you on Monday?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah…Monday." I was clearly incoherent under the influence of Bella Swan.

And right then I knew, however cheesy or gay it sounded, my life would now forever revolve around her.

**0o0o0**

**Reviews = faster update :)**


	8. Chapter 8: Silent Part I

**A/N: So, so sorry it's been so long. Please forgive me! I haven't forgotten about this story, it's one of my favourites. Please stay with me! :)**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Silent part I**

* * *

**Saturday night**

_**~~*Bella*~~**_

When I went back to my room, I spent the rest of the day thinking about Edward, Jasper and Alice. The idea that I had begun to acknowledge people again scared and excited me at the same time. I still needed to get used to it.

After an uneventful few hours of reading and writing in my room, I had dinner in the cafeteria, and then got ready for bed. I fell asleep thinking of green, emerald pools, sweet soft lips against my cheek, and bronze coloured hair.

* * *

**Monday**

I woke up screaming.

I'd had another nightmare.

I swiped my face, knowing I'd find my cheeks wet with tears. I hadn't thought I would have a nightmare again.

But it seemed that not even Edward could keep them away.

It had been about my sixteenth birthday again.

The worst night of my life.

I could feel Phil's presence in the room, hear his voice faintly talking to me, feel his arms trying to hold me together as he embraced me. But my mind couldn't connect or communicate with my body.

I felt numb again. Like life didn't matter.

My parents were still gone.

Nothing had changed.

There was no reason for me to feel happy. They were still in heaven.

* * *

I knew hours had passed, and Phil had guided me to and from the cafeteria to help me eat breakfast. But I couldn't tell you if I did eat or not. If I did, didn't taste anything. I didn't remember moving my mouth, lips or tongue, or order to consume anything.

I could tell Phil was still with me, trying to communicate with me in my room as he watched me. I briefly wondered what I appeared to look like.

Did I have a blank expression? Did my eyes look far off into the distance? But then I realised I didn't care. Mum and dad were still gone. So it doesn't matter.

At one point, I'm coherent enough to understand that Phil is talking to me, trying to relay information, but then decides now is not the right time. I could only agree inwardly.

I couldn't concentrate on anything that was happening around me, all I could see was _his_ face as he abused me and eventually took away my innocence. I had dreamt of the way I would lose my virginity. And he had ruined that for me. Forever.

I wasn't able to wait to do it with my boyfriend of a few months, eventually deciding we were both ready for the next level. To give each other over to the other.

_He_ ruined that for me.

I doubted I'd ever be capable of being excited of the idea of having sex. In fact, I dreaded it. I hated the idea that if I were ever in the position or situation to take that step with someone, that I'd freak out. Having flash backs of that night.

_He_ ruined that for me.

I barely took in the fact that I was again in the cafeteria. This time, Phil was sitting next to me in chair. Again, I _barely_ realised the fact that both Edward and Jasper were sitting opposite us as the chatted quietly with Phil. But it was mostly Jazz; Edward hardly said anything as I felt his eyes on me.

His eyes; with the intensity of his stare, so close to scorching and tearing away the barriers that had been assembled up in my mind, securing all of my thoughts and memories.

Yet they weren't enough. Not enough to bring me back, to keep my mind safe and free of these memories. Deep, permanent scars were engraved into my brain the night that _he_ raped me, followed by _his_ friend.

* * *

It seems it is worse this time.

Usually when by mind is separated from the living world of reality, it only lasts a few hours. But this time it is never ending. I know and feel as the days pass, briefly noticing how the light changes in my room, and the amount of times I've been taken to the cafeteria and the bathroom.

This is the first time though where I haven't been able to operate my body on my own. Needing someone to take me, sometimes _carry_ me, to where I need to go, is quite worrying. At least I think it is, since I don't really care for my wellbeing at the moment.

Sometimes I consider that maybe this is for the best. Maybe Phil was right; maybe I am trying to protect myself, mentally trying to steer clear of Edward, Alice and Jasper, in case I lose them. Like I did my parents.

Maybe it would be easier to forget them. To forget _Edward_. Since he was able to evoke such strong emotions from me, so close to just meeting him, maybe it was safer for me to forget, than to care for him.

Every now and then I'm able to wonder and think about things. What is Edward doing right this minute? How many times has he, or Jazz or Alice visited me since that Saturday? But then I vaguely recall both Edward and Jasper coming on that Monday…and then I just give up on trying to count the days back with the amount of times the lighting in my room has changed from morning to night.

I want to forget about anyway. What's the use in trying to remember if my mind wants to forget?

* * *

I miss Edward.

I know that much.

I also miss Jazz and Alice.

I want to see them. But then I try to remember if I have seen them recently, and I just haven't noticed properly. As the time passes I realise my concentration is getting much worse. At least on Monday I was able to realise who I was in the presence of. But now I cannot.

Time no longer means anything to me.

I just hope that eventually, it will. Eventually I'll be aware of which day it is, what time it is, and whether Edward is with me or not. I want to remember him. I want to know if he's with me.

I decide that I don't want to forget.

As much as it will hurt me if I lose him, I don't care. I don't want to waste the time that I _do_ have with him. If I had a month, a week, heck, even one day to spend with my parents…I wouldn't be trapped in my mind! I'd be spending as much time with them as I could. Treasuring the time as if it were the rarest gold on earth.

So with that determination, I tried to concentrate, tried my hardest to figure out my surroundings.

Slowly, so, so slowly, I felt the walls blocking my mind as a safety precaution, begin to quiver under my pressure. I took in the fact that I was in the cafeteria, and as soon as that realisation hit me; a stronger sense let itself known.

Edward was here.

Edward was with me.

I could feel him. His presence was oh so close to me.

It felt as if I were gritting my teeth and clenching my fists, as I tried to gather the required strength to conquer the barriers. As I fought them off one by one, I started to notice things slowly.

Firstly, I was sitting on a chair, with a table next to me on my right, as I looked outside window.

Secondly, Edward was situated opposite me, also sitting next to the table, so that nothing was in between us.

And thirdly and fourthly, Edward was here by himself, as he read to me.

Finally, I smiled inwardly as I felt the last wall quiver, shake and combust, only to fall down into minuscule pieces…leaving my mind unprotected and _free_.

I heard myself sigh as I finally felt completely coherent, conscious, and _there,_ after what felt like _so long._

* * *

I turned my head slowly to the right, shifting my eyes to completely absorb Edward's form.

His head was bent down as he read from the pages of a book which he held in his hands. His left arm was resting on the table, with his elbow bent, as his right hand hovered near the book, prepared to turn the page when needed.

His eyes followed the words as he spoke them out loud to me. His voice was beautiful. _He_ was beautiful. My memory, as it was locked away in the confines of the walls I had built, had not done him justice. I missed his speech; deep, velvet, tones as he recited the words on the pages. It alarmed me when I realised his voice sounded slightly different; it had become deeper with a roughness to it, yet at the same time, quieter. _Weaker._

His voice screamed defeat. And it worried me.

Had I done this to him?

I knew it was selfish and big-headed of me to think I had affected him this much, I just hoped it wasn't I who had caused this beautiful man to give up on something. Yet he hadn't given up, but he was close.

He needed _hope_.

And it was up to me to give it to him. Because even though it might be wrong to believe it, I had a feeling it was me. _I_ was the one responsible to cause his voice to be filled with defeat.

As he read from the page he was up to, I tried to concentrate on his words as my hand slowly reached up and across the table to his. I soon realised it was at the beginning of chapter 18, of _Pride and Prejudice_, my favourite book.

"'Elizabeth's_ spirits soon rising to playfulness again, she wanted Mr Darcy to account for his having ever fallen in love with her.' 'How could you begin?' said she. 'I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had once made a beginning; but what could set you off in the first place?'_

'_I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I _had_ begun.'"_

Knowing the next piece of dialogue said by Elizabeth, I spoke as I recited her speech off by heart, at the same time that my fingers reached his hand.

"'_My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners – my behaviour to_ you _was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. Now be sincere; did you admire me for my impertinence?"_

At first, hearing my voice caused him to gasp in shock and lift his eyes to my face. He watched me as I spoke to him, my eyes meeting with his. He'd quickly grasped my hand, squeezing it tight as I recalled Elizabeth Bennet's words.

His eyes were still wide in shock as I finished; only being able to whisper Mr Darcy's next line as he stared at me; obviously knowing the book off by heart as well. _"'For the liveliness of you mind, I did.'"_

And suddenly, as if bringing down my walls and finally using my voice had tired me completely, all of my emotions sprang forth; causing me to smile at him, even as tears escaped my eyes.

It amazed me as I _saw_ and _felt _his arms reach out toward me swiftly, bringing me close to him as he sat me on his lap and hugged me tightly. I cried silently as he held me in his strong grip, seeming to never want to let go of me as he pulled me tighter into his chest.

"Oh _thank God_," he murmured against my neck. "You're back, you're back. I _knew_ you'd come back to me." His voice had lost that rough tinge from before, gaining some volume too. No longer consumed by defeat.

"I'm back," I whispered against his shoulder as my fingers found their way to his hair, stroking and fingering it in a soothing manner. "I'm sorry."

"I missed you Bella. So much," he said, his voice breaking on the last word. I could _feel_ him sobbing as he held me even tighter. But I would never tell him to let me go.

I nodded against him, "I missed you too. I tried…I tried to forget you. But I couldn't. I need you. And once I realised that…I knew I had to break free….I had to let go of my defences if I ever wanted to see you…speak to you again… I need you Edward. You're my only hope in all of this." I said, pulling away gently just so that I could look into his eyes. My fingers traced the corners of them.

"These green emeralds were the only thing I could scrounge up in my memories, to remember you, but they gave me hope that you were still looking out for me, that you were still here. That you would be here for me, when I came back."

He leant forward so that our foreheads rested against each other. With one hand still around my waist and the other behind my neck, he whispered the words that would forever keep me grounded, never allowing me to retrieve back into the shell of a person I had become.

"Always, I'll always be here for you. Waiting for you to come back to me."

With that, he gave me the courage I needed in order to do what I most wanted to in that moment.

As my hands rested on each of his cheeks, my thumbs stroking them reassuringly, I smiled briefly before closing my eyes and leaning forward, gently pressing my lips to his.

For a few seconds I just held them there, not really knowing what I was meant to be doing. I hadn't done this before. But when Edward seemed to awaken from his shock, he pressed back against me. And finally, he started to move his lips; kissing, nibbling, sucking, and licking mine. All little, subtle movements; yet still causing my heart rate to increase exponentially.

As his lips sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, I willingly took in his top lip, nibbling and sucking it slowly with my lips. I never wanted this to stop. I vaguely wondered if someone was going to come over and stop us, since PDA was against the rules…but Edward's tongue distracted me from that thought as he licked between my lips.

Assuming he wanted to gain entrance, I parted my lips in order for him to manoeuvre his tongue against mine. I moaned as he explored the inside of my mouth, the feeling of his tongue against mine was phenomenal.

I briefly realised that I was now pulling his face closer to mine as my fingers pulled at his neck and hair, attempting to bring his tongue even more into me. But after a few more moments of this, we both started to slow down, until we stopped, yet still giving each other soft pecks.

When I realised my eyes were still closed, I opened them and pulled back slightly to see him staring at me with a huge grin on his face.

We continued to sit in silence, smiling at each other like idiots. But I hadn't felt so happy in _so long._ So I couldn't stop beaming up at him as he gazed adoringly at me. His eyes widened with surprise as I gave him a small smirk, after I remembered I did want to reply to him.

"That's good," I said, giving him another soft kiss and a smile, "Because I'll always come back to you."

* * *

**So… Thoughts? :) Thanks for reading! **


	9. Chapter 9: Silent Part II

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews; they're what keep me writing this.**

_***!PLEASE READ!***_

**I need to go back and edit previous chapters… but just so that we're on the same page I want to rehash the timeline of events as I did change a few things…**

Alice and her family moved to Forks: **30th January 2010**  
Bella's 16th birthday/day of incident: **14th February**  
End of Trial process and sentences been made: **28th March**  
Bella is taken in at AFPC and committed: **29th March**  
Edward arrives during school summer break: **Sunday 18th July**  
Bella and Edward meet: **Wednesday 21st July**

**Bella does not have to wait a year until she can leave the centre, it is up to the doctors and Phil to decide if and when she has recovered and is mentally capable of living outside the centre.**

**Jasper is living with the Cullens, having sold their previous home, but was not adopted by Carlisle and Esme as his 18****th**** birthday isn't too far off – November 2****nd**** – as he's a year behind in school. He and Bella were given inheritance money which Bella will receive when she gets out.**

**Hope that clears up a few things! Will edit the first few chapters when I can.**

**And finally…here's the chapter… :)**

**

* * *

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**Silent Hope**

**Chapter 9: Silent Part II**

**Saturday Night July 24****th**

_**~*~Edward~*~**_

The whole ride home from seeing Bella was spent by thinking about her. It amused, yet scared me, how much time I inadvertently devoted to Bella. Thinking about her. All. The. Time.

I must have looked like an idiot; grinning the whole way home, while I played the piano and during dinner. Mum asked me why I was so happy, to which Alice answered, _"he's thinking about Bella and how hard he's actually falling for her.."_

Did I ever mention how annoyingly intuitive my little sister is?

Sometimes it's scary.

I merely shook my head at her, still smiling though.

It made me so happy that she spoke to us, interacting again. Oh, and the fact that she kissed my cheek? Yeah it made me a little happy.

_Fuck that_, I thought to myself. When she initiated that sign of affection to me? I was fucking ecstatic.

I went to bed and fell asleep quickly, never having felt as happy as I was right then

* * *

**Sunday July 25****th**

The whole of Sunday was spent pretty much at home. I only went out at one point to this little shop with mum and Alice, buying the last few things we'd need when school started again.

If I gathered up all of the minutes, I'd wager I'd spent less than an hour in the entire day, not thinking about Bella.

I wanted to see her, be near her again. I didn't want to wait for the next day, but I knew I had no choice. I could be really impatient sometimes. Sue me.

Alice was jealous that Jasper and I were going tomorrow and she couldn't. When Jazz came over for lunch, we decided that he'd come over for breakfast in the morning. So when Alice left for work, we'd leave to see Bella.

That night Alice made Bella's favourite soup, cauliflower soup, for us to warm up and take.

I probably fell asleep with a smile on my face as I thought about tomorrow.

* * *

**Monday July 26****th**

Jazz arrived at around eight and we the three of us all sat together in the living room eating toast and drinking tea.

Not long after we had just finished eating, Jasper received a call.

"Hello?" he answered.

Alice and I continued to watch the TV.

"Yes, this is Jasper Swan."

I quickly glanced at him to see his confused expression, before it transformed to understanding.

"Oh, hi Phil." – Now it's worry, his eyebrows pulling together – "What's wrong? Is Bella okay?"

My eyes widened as I realised it was the Phil that worked at AFPC. Suddenly, my heart was beating a lot faster. _Why was he calling Jasper?_

"_What?" _Jasper choked on sob. "No."

His hand ran through his hair before he rested his forehead in it, looking at the floor. Alice and I exchanged a panicked look before watching him again, trying to figure out what was happening. Not really considering it properly, I shifted much closer to Jasper; hoping to listen in. Either he didn't notice or he didn't mind.

He cleared his throat, "So…_nothing_? She won't even…?"

"_Mr Swan, I'm sorry. But she can't even go to the toilet, let alone eat without assistance at the moment. She's completely, mentally disconnected herself from human contact…to the point where her mind is utterly locked up." _Phil's voice sounded so different to when I had met him. This time it was full of sorrow and defeat.

My heart plummeted into my stomach. My Bella wasn't talking again. It seemed she wasn't even…living.

As I contemplated what might have caused her to retreat into her own mind and keep everyone else out, I was silent. I didn't hear the rest of the conversation, only noticing when Jasper hung up, gasping with quiet sobs. Alice, sitting next to him on his other side wrapped her arms around him.

"Jazzy, what's wrong? What happened?" she asked.

He held her to him for a moment, silently, before sighing a couple of times and leaning back.

"She- she had a nightmare…last night. Phil thinks this one really…was really bad…and caused her to give in…"

_Give in_? What the fuck did that mean?

"Give in?" I asked.

He looked over to me, causing me to flinch slightly as I was taken aback. His face, full of shed tears. "Give up," he explained. "He said she's gone back to the very beginning…completely catatonic. Won't acknowledge, won't talk, won't even move without someone guiding her or carrying her."

He wiped his eyes roughly, "I can't even imagine how bad her dreams are…I just wish I was there!" he growled at the end, standing up as he started to pace. "I wish we were at home that night and not at Emmett's! Then none of this would have happened! Mum and dad would be alive and Bella wouldn't be living like this! She wouldn't be so scarred and ruined!" His shouting was kind of shocking, usually being so quiet.

Alice's was silent as she watched him, tears silently falling down her cheeks.

"What do you mean scarred…and ruined?" I asked quietly.

His head spun towards Alice, "You never told him any of it?" he spat out.

"No," she whispered. "It wasn't my place."

His face softened slightly as he gazed at her.

"I only know that on her birthday…your parents…died." I admitted.

Jasper laughed, humourlessly as he wore an evil smirk. "Yeah, but they didn't just die," he said, staring at me as his anger emanated out of him. "They were _murdered_. Two guys came into my house, killed my parents with a gun, and raped my sister, leaving her to die alone." What started as a loud voice, decreased to a pained whisper as he finished speaking.

I gasped, feeling the familiar prickling in my eyes.

My Bella was raped?

I swallowed the bile rising up in my throat at the thought.

_No._

I sobbed quietly, the information hitting me harder than I thought possible. I leaned forward with my head in my hands as I closed my eyes.

I felt Jasper sit back down between us and looked up. Fragile and defeated after expelling all energy with his anger, he seemed so drained.

I stood up abruptly, I was still going to see her, and I hoped like hell Jasper was. I'd need him.

"You ready to go?" I asked.

His eyes met mine as he contemplated something. Just as I was about to speak I noticed a sudden expression on his face…one that I couldn't name. Suddenly, he gave me the smallest smile before standing up.

"Yes," he quickly turned to Alice, kissing her goodbye. "I'll see you later on, baby."

She looked between us before gazing into Jazz's eyes as he did hers. Something was said between the two of them as they communicated silently. As they broke all eye contact, Jazz started walking towards the door, Alice smiling at me as we left.

What they fuck was that about?

* * *

The ride to the psychiatric centre was really quiet, but I did have the courage to ask about what was happening to the killers and rapists, were they found? Were they in jail after what they did to Bella and her family? He briefly told me that they were both arrested and convicted, serving a life sentence in jail. I smiled at that small piece of information. He explained that Bella had put all her energy into her testimony and the trial, making it absolutely sure that they would be convicted and there would be justice; before she was completely wiped of all liveliness. He said that it was as if she saved up all of her speech for trial process, all of her purpose in life; devoted to catching their parent's killers, that it wiped her out when it was over. Not allowing her to talk or live anymore. As there was no purpose any longer.

However, we had seen only a couple of days ago that she had found something to live for, because she had started to speak again. And if she could do it once, I believed she could and would do it again. She may have given up in some sense, but I was never going to give up on her.

We sat at a table near a window as we waited for Phil to retrieve Bella and bring her hear to us. At the sight of her my heart collapsed. She looked so exhausted, so weak and empty of emotion. He led her to a chair and sat next to her. Her eyes; once a warm brown, now completely empty. A cloud of despair and pain blocked the view of her soul from me. Unable to see her warmth, it saddened me that she had also shut me out along with everyone else.

Several times, Jasper tried to get her attention, but all of his efforts were fruitless. Never even gaining a blink from her.

There was some part of me that knew she knew we were with her, but I didn't know what I should say. I was as silent as she, as Phil and Jazz talked about her nightmare. The fact that she woke up screaming torments me. I would give anything to be near her, to be able to hold and comfort her if she was ever afraid and in need of some security.

_Everyone is most vulnerable in their sleep._

I merely watched her the entire time I was there, soaking in the sight of her. As upsetting as it was, she was still beautiful.

* * *

From that point on I knew. I knew I would do whatever it would take to get Bella to talk to me again. For her to acknowledge my presence, as well as Alice's and Jasper's. I remembered that the first time I met her she was reading Pride and Prejudice, and considered maybe reading it to her when I saw her would be a good idea.

On Wednesday, Alice Jasper and I had all gone to visit her. While the both of them tried to gain her attention and speak to her, I remained silent along with her, watching as she holed herself up in her mind. I wondered what she was thinking, and whether or not she could think in her condition. Did she understand what was happening to her? Who was near her?

Phil had said that if and when she was ready, her mind would let her be again, set her free from the isolation it had built up for her thoughts and memories to lay silent.

That Saturday was the first time I started to visit Bella on my own. Alice and Jazz found it too hard to be around her as she was like this. Completely unmoving and unaware of what was happening around her.

"_She's like a corpse, there's nothing left in her…no hope…or life…" _Alice has whispered one night, when I found her crying in her bed. I'd come in to see if she was okay, needing her comfort as much as she needed mine. I'd flinched at her words.

She did have life in her, as well as happiness and hope and love. I just needed to keep at it. I needed to let her go through this. There was no rushing it. When she was ready she'd come back to me. I knew it.

Although they didn't accompany me, Alice and Jazz encouraged me enthusiastically to keep visiting Bella. And even though I wouldn't stop going no matter what, I wondered if they believed I'd be able to get her talking again. If I just didn't give up on her. I smiled. Did they think that I could affect her so much as to get her to come back? I sure hoped so.

The following week passed as the one prior. Bella. Work. Bella. Work. Work. Bella. Sunday.

* * *

**Monday August 9****th**** (Two weeks later)**

It had been a while since I had taken a good look at myself in a mirror. And it was only too late when I caught my reflection in the glass window at the Centre. I looked dreadful. My hair was longer and oilier, as it had darkened. My face was a mess, with my eyes hidden above my dark circles, – as a result of my lack of sleep lately – and my scruffy appearance as I hadn't shaved often at all. I rarely even showered, not caring anymore. This morning had been the first time in a few days. I'm pretty sure the family appreciates me not smelling like bum anymore.

I could see my body had changed slightly too. I'd lost a little weight as I had been eating less, losing some of the muscle I had worked hard to build. As I assessed my differences, I vowed that I would start taking better care of myself from now on. I needed to be healthy in order to help Bella.

Today had started out the exact same way the two previous Monday's had when I visited Bella, and the days in between.

We sat at our preferred table. It was near the window, allowing me to read with the sunlight, and Bella to gaze out at the garden, which she liked to do nowadays. When I'd greeted her, as per normal, Phil passed her to me, giving me her hand. I said my usual, 'hey', kissed her cheek, squeezed her hand, assisted her into her seat, and opened up the book to where we had left off.

Every day I hoped that it would be the day. The day she would smile. The day she was nod. The day she would do anything. Acknowledge me. Shout at me. Make any sort of progress. And every day I closed my book, squeezed her hand, kissed her cheek, and whispered in her ear before handing her back to Phil, _"Maybe next time baby, you'll come back to me."_

I sighed to myself as I reached the bottom of the page and flipped it, continuing to read to her while she probably gazed out of the window. With my head bent forward, my left elbow rested on the table as my hand held the book. My right hand was ready to turn the page again when needed.

I cleared my voice for the next part, "'_Elizabeth's spirits soon rising to playfulness again, she wanted Mr Darcy to account for his having ever fallen in love with her.' 'How could you begin?' said she. 'I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had once made a beginning; but what could set you off in the first place?'_

'_I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I _had_ begun.'"_

I sure knew when I began to fall in love with Bella. The day I met her.

I'd already admitted to myself that I loved her, and yes it scared the fuck out of me, but there was no denying my feelings for her. Besides, with an intuitive sister, it's hard to deny such an emotion.

Suddenly, I felt a familiar yet unaccustomed sensation on my hand. I didn't have time to realise what it was until I heard it.

Her _voice._

I gasped at the shock of it; so beautiful and light and innocent. I loved the sound of her speaking. I lifted my eyes to meet hers as she spoke to me, finishing the next line of the story. Having obviously memorised it by now. I grasped and squeezed her hand as she spoke, taking advantage of her attention.

"'_My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners – my behaviour to_ you _was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. Now be sincere; did you admire me for my impertinence?"_

Still in shock, my eyes were wide as I stared at her. The warmth was back! Her eyes were a warm brown again. I could only whisper the next line, already knowing it by memory, _"For the liveliness of your mind, I did."_

Suddenly, she smiled at me, even as tears fell from her eyes. More reactions!

I swiftly brought my arms around her, bringing her close to me as I sat her on my lap and hugged her tightly. I felt her sob gently as I held her strongly against me, never wanting to let go of her as I pulled her even tighter into my chest.

"Oh _thank God_," I murmured against her neck, breathing in and smelling her shampoo. "You're back, you're back. I _knew_ you'd come back to me." I said.

"I'm back," she whispered against my shoulder as her fingers found their way to my hair, stroking it and causing me to relax instantly. "I'm sorry."

"I missed you Bella. So _much_," I said, my voice breaking on the last word. Crying quietly as I held her.

She nodded against me, "I missed you too. I tried…I tried to forget you. But I couldn't. I need you. And once I realised that…I knew I had to break free….I had to let go of my defences if I ever wanted to see you…speak to you again… I need you Edward. You're my only hope in all of this," she said, pulling away gently, looking into my eyes. Her fingers traced the corners of them.

"These green emeralds were the only thing I could scrounge up in my memories, to remember you, but they gave me hope that you were still looking out for me, that you were still here. That you would be here for me, when I came back."

I leant forward so that our foreheads rested against each other. With one hand still around her waist and one behind her neck, I whispered to her, "Always, I'll always be here for you. Waiting for you to come back to me."

As her hands rested on each of my cheeks, her thumbs stroking them softly, she smiled briefly before closing her eyes and leaning forward. I froze in shock, until I felt her gently pressing her lips to mine.

_So soft and warm against me._

She kept them there for a few moments, and then I was able to register the fact that Bella had kissed me. _She was kissing me!_

Eventually, I pressed mine back against her. And finally, I started to move my lips; kissing, nibbling, sucking, and licking hers. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it. _I was kissing Bella!_

My sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, as she took my top one. Nibbling and sucking it slowly with her lips. I didn't want this to stop.

Suddenly, I wanted to feel her tongue against mine, and as if reading my mind, she parted her lips in order for me to massage my tongue against her. She moaned as I explored the inside of her mouth. Her tongue against mine felt amazing. I definitely didn't want to stop kissing Bella. It felt too fucking good. Especially after two weeks of no contact with her mind, with her heart.

She was now pulling my face closer to hers as her fingers pulled at my neck and hair, seemingly to want more of my tongue. After a few more moments we both started to slow down. Yet giving and receiving small soft pecks.

This girl will definitely be the death of me. If I had my way, I would kiss her all day long. Or talk to her, either way.

I was grinning at her as I gazed at her absolute beauty, eyes seemingly closed in contentment, when she did open her eyes.

We continued to sit and gaze at each other in silence, smiling like idiots. But I hadn't felt so happy in my life, even including that Saturday night two weeks ago_._ Because now I knew what it felt like to kiss and be kissed by, Bella. And of course, the fact that she was now back gave me a beautiful relief. So I couldn't help gazing at her adoringly. At her small smirk, my eyes widened with surprise before she replied.

"That's good," she said, giving me another soft kiss and a smile, "Because I'll always come back to you."

I beamed at her as what I wanted to believe was spoken through her lips. She'd always come back to me. Oh, hell yes she will.

I cradled her face in my hands as I brought her lips once more to mine, pecking her softly as we smiled against each other's lips.

When I remembered something I quickly leaned back. Her curiosity was obvious as I cleared my throat. "Um…I kind of promised myself that I would tell you this, when you decided to talk again." I paused, before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before exhaling and continuing. "I know it's really early and we don't know each other well…but um…I um…I really, really like you Bella. And uh…I'd be honoured if…you would be my girlfriend…"

Her response, although silent, said so much. Her broad grin lit up her face before she crashed her lips against mine yet again. After kissing for a few moments, she leaned back only to say, _'yes, yes I do want to be your girlfriend, Edward.'_

Just as I was beginning to seriously wonder if anyone was going to stop us from behaving this way, Phil came up to explain that we needed to tone it down a few notches. Mainly, Bella needed to sit in her own chair. But I could tell he wasn't annoyed in the slightest, if anything, he was ecstatic that Bella was alert, talking and _living_ again.

"Okay Phil, sorry," she smiled at him before moving to sit in the chair next to me and holding my hand on the table.

We spent the next hour talking. And I loved every second of it.

Phil had informed me a couple of weeks ago that if and when Bella regained her ability to communicate and understand her surroundings, I would be able to stay a lot longer to keep her talking. Additionally, since I started coming here alone, they had let me stay for three hours instead of one.

Hoping that the more time I spent with her, the quicker it would take for her subconsciousness to ease up and break down her walls.

She told me all her favourite books and admitted that _Pride and Prejudice_ was in fact her favourite as well. She listed her favourite movies, colours, songs, friends and subjects at school. It didn't really surprise me when Bella whined about missing school. Her cute little eyebrows bunching up together as her chin scrunched up. She missed the idea of being with friends while in a familiar social and educational environment.

Along with Alice, she missed Emmett, Jasper's best friend, and Rosalie – his girlfriend. I'd had the pleasure of meeting them last week, but didn't talk at all. In my coma like state, no wonder they said hey right before avoiding me completely. Alice admitted she told them why I was like that, but I didn't care. Emmett seemed like an alright guy, cracked a few jokes in an attempt to get me to respond. And Rosalie was your typical model; tall, slim, beautiful hair, complexion and eyes. She was lovely too, especially when she smiled. But I wouldn't ever see another girl in any other way but platonic. Bella was it for me.

Bella also told me about Lauren and Vikki, two of her good friends since she was a toddler. She explained though that neither had visited or contacted her since 'it' happened and she came here.

Although she told me she was relieved that they hadn't, I could see the hurt in her eyes. Some part of her felt abandoned, and rightfully so. I hoped I never saw these two girls when I started school. And even though I knew I wouldn't be in the same classes as Bella, since I was a year older, I wished she would be there with me.

I found myself easily talking to her about my life, my friends back in Phoenix, my hobbies; going to the gym, music and playing piano. When we reached the area of previous relationships I found it very difficult to believe Bella had never had a boyfriend before.

"Well…if you count me and Jacob doing a 'you show me yours and I'll show you mine' when we were seven…then I guess I've had a relationship," she giggled.

That's right, she giggled. My baby giggled.

As we talked, we never let go of each other, sneaking in kisses when we could.

"How about you?" she asked me, curious eyes gazing into mine.

"Um…well… I've had four girlfriends. The first, was Irina when we were 14. After a few kisses and going out to the movies we ended it. When I was 15 I went out with Hayley for a couple of months before I broke up with her for kissing other guys. Kate and I got together a little while after…but she dumped me for another guy. And last but not least…" I took a deep breath as I recognised the beginnings of the pain I had felt a few months ago. "When I turned 16 I started dating Tanya. By May this year we had been going out for 8 months, and that's when she dumped me for Tyler. But a week later I found out that they had been hooking up for six months behind my back. I'd thought I loved her. I'd said I did. But then so did she.

I know now that I definitely didn't. I know what love is now, and I hadn't felt the slightest similarity to what I feel now." I paused, shocked to find that I had been saying too much but was too comfortable talking to Bella about it. I had thought it would be too early to admit my feelings to Bella just yet. "Anyway…it's been a few months since then and I haven't felt as happy – in my whole life – as I do right now." I ended with a kiss on the back of her hand, as I pulled her closer with the arm around her shoulders.

"That's so wrong though," she whispered. "Why were you treated so badly? By all three of them? How could they ever be interested in someone else when they had you?"

I chuckled quietly. "I don't know, love. I guess I'm not as good-looking as I thought," I said, joking with her.

She gazed silently in my eyes for a moment before speaking quietly, "What did you mean before? About knowing you didn't feel love before, but now you do? Have you realised you love someone?"

_Man, my baby was intuitive._

Shit.

"Uh…um. Well…" I hesitated, not wanting to scare her off. But one look at her expression ruined my resolve. She smiled slightly, but her eyes were wary, waiting for me to admit that I loved someone – who wasn't her. I needed to stop her from second guessing herself.

"Yes," I admitted in a much stronger voice. I held her face in my hands, stroking her cheeks with my fingers. "Bella. I…I love…you. I know it's really early and you might not believe me…but I know it in my heart.

These past couple of weeks were hell for me. Not being able to communicate with you properly or hear your voice. I need you. Always. And I know it deep down in my heart that I love you."

She gasped quietly, tears forming in her eyes.

For a moment I grew anxious. Maybe it was too soon, I shouldn't have said anything.

She shook her head slightly, her beautiful hair swirling around her shoulders. And just as a new determination lit up her eyes, a warm fire brewing, the pink in her cheeks appeared. Looking lovely against her flawlessly pale skin. As she gave me a shy smile, she whispered the words for me only, "I…I love you too Edward."

* * *

**Awww :) how sweet! Don't you think? Let me know!**


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